I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I don't want my vagina anymore.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
