And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
