i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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