i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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