grandma shit on top of the toilet
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
