If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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