If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
i need some magic done to my vagina
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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