Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
