Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
