You just made me feel so damn special
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
