and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
