Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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