I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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