How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
