It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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