Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize