My entire life is one complicated drinking game
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
