i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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