Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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