Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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