You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I think my moral compass just broke
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