I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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