hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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