Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Are we still banned from the library?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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