brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
