I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
