My cat gives me a boner
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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