Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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