So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
