Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
