You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
