i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
