And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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