You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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