I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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