you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
