i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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