Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
