yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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