He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize