It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
