She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
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