Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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