This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Randomize
