Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Are my feet made of real feet?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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