Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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