I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
ugly people sure do ruin things
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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