I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
