"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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