Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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