What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
We are two peas in an std pod
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Randomize
