Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
