Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
