I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
