You made me cry and you don't even care
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
