What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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