It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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