I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
my liver is dry heaving
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
