If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
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