In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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